Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
