hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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