I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
