woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
