Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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