Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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