Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
