Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
They are going to name an STD after you.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
