All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
