Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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