Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
