This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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