Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
