Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
