I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
