I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize