All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
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I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
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So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA