Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence