I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
