Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad

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(970): Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad http://tfl.nu/podg

Replies (3) Good night (1380) Bad night (719)
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(315): View more from New York

So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.

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(315): So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs. http://tfl.nu/ibfv

Replies (124) Good night (43109) Bad night (1456)
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(678): View more from Georgia

did u really fuck my little sister???

(706): View more from Georgia

im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"

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(678): did u really fuck my little sister??? (706): im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess" http://tfl.nu/dz4c

Replies (155) Good night (15825) Bad night (1919)
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(757): View more from Virginia

We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.

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(757): We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on. http://tfl.nu/8n2e

Replies (15) Good night (5681) Bad night (1060)
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(703): View more from Virginia

keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.

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(703): keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair. http://tfl.nu/vnaz

Replies (3) Good night (2502) Bad night (819)
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(980): View more from North Carolina

My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.

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(980): My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less. http://tfl.nu/l7sw

Replies (11) Good night (2693) Bad night (935)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.

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(319): Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now. http://tfl.nu/g0lg

Replies (5) Good night (3626) Bad night (1029)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever

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(814): He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever http://tfl.nu/aoid

Replies (10) Good night (3515) Bad night (1056)
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(928): View more from Arizona

No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.

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(928): No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals. http://tfl.nu/o042

Replies (4) Good night (696) Bad night (560)
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(+33): View more from France

It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"

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(+33): It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year" http://tfl.nu/mi0c

Replies (3) Good night (1421) Bad night (506)
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(309): View more from Illinois

the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me

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(309): the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me http://tfl.nu/lgos

Replies (7) Good night (616) Bad night (1347)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.

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(502): Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home. http://tfl.nu/5iun

Replies (15) Good night (536) Bad night (870)
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(813): View more from Florida

IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.

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(813): IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY. http://tfl.nu/73q8

Replies (15) Good night (741) Bad night (1342)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.

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(612): you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing. http://tfl.nu/yg2q

Replies (3) Good night (879) Bad night (259)
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(312): View more from Illinois

If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.

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(312): If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/vx4i

Replies (4) Good night (1109) Bad night (373)

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