Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(641): View more from Iowa

are you wasted or are you getting laid?

(515): View more from Iowa

ebdebdebdebd

(641): View more from Iowa

wow

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(641): are you wasted or are you getting laid? (515): ebdebdebdebd (641): wow http://tfl.nu/m3dh

Replies (23) Good night (5478) Bad night (650)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"

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(502): The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!" http://tfl.nu/u8jk

Replies (23) Good night (6145) Bad night (694)
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(253): View more from Washington

My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?

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(253): My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable? http://tfl.nu/rdbs

Replies (13) Good night (2769) Bad night (772)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.

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(610): He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab. http://tfl.nu/orgb

Replies (51) Good night (6582) Bad night (1121)
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(607): View more from New York

I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name

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(607): I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name http://tfl.nu/j3pw

Replies (13) Good night (6795) Bad night (1120)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry

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(832): You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry http://tfl.nu/vuqf

Replies (21) Good night (1911) Bad night (4639)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.

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(937): Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies. http://tfl.nu/1bgy

Replies (29) Good night (1240) Bad night (6546)
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(302): View more from Delaware

She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.

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(302): She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her. http://tfl.nu/dsg0

Replies (17) Good night (4227) Bad night (1729)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."

(1-208): View more from Idaho

Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.

(208): View more from Idaho

......... Poor kitty

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(208): I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl." (1-208): Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating. (208): ......... Poor kitty http://tfl.nu/dw0s

Replies (9) Good night (1136) Bad night (1907)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.

(307): View more from Wyoming

Except even better, boobs get discounts.

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(307): Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8. (307): Except even better, boobs get discounts. http://tfl.nu/cz7z

Replies (11) Good night (1946) Bad night (474)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.

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(303): I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already. http://tfl.nu/emym

Replies (6) Good night (1071) Bad night (451)
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(817): View more from Texas

A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10

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(817): A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10 http://tfl.nu/8aoh

Replies (2) Good night (605) Bad night (299)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.

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(404): Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world. http://tfl.nu/lt97

Replies (8) Good night (337) Bad night (718)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.

(1-757): View more from Virginia

…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car

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(757): I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car. (1-757): …If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car http://tfl.nu/ri5o

Replies (3) Good night (353) Bad night (634)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.

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(205): Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax. http://tfl.nu/u4t8

Replies (1) Good night (322) Bad night (258)

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