the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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