you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
