I hope mine doesn't look like that
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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