i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
