we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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