The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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