I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize