The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
