plz talk dirty to me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
