it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
