I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
The air taste purple.
Randomize
