Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
