do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
