i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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