I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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