I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
