I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
