guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
