I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize