You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
