I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
