so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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