I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
