I think I died a long time ago.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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