i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
