'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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