whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Jerry, you need to find god
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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