don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
