3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize