sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Randomize