I just found puke in my bra..
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize