I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
