I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My room smells like vodka and shame
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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