sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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