So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
