I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
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Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
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You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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