Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
