When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
