I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
