I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
