I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
