I'm eating all of the evidence.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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