Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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