Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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